It has been fourteen months since we cut our square footage in half, downsizing across town for various reasons.
Financial for one: we wanted to save and travel more (and let’s be real, I needed a cleaning lady which wasn’t really in the budget at the time). Really we just wanted to manage our money differently.
Mission accomplished. Downsizing is incredible for alleviating any financial burden you may feel. I’m a big fan. (We’re debt free now, except for the house, hooray! And we have gotten to go on the most amazing, rejuvenating trips. If you know us, you know we’re obsessed with taking trips and eating fancy food! #foodies)
Our second main reason for the downsize was space. We had so much that we didn’t use, and it just felt excessive. Also, I could never find our freaking shoes/gloves/random lost objects.
I had been reading about minimizing for a couple years, and the timing felt right. I mean, after all we had three kids under the age of four (ha.) I seriously wanted to stomp on the “American” consumerism that I’ve been spoonfed by our culture with since I was born.
I was CERTAIN I would have more than enough space in a smaller house, and I was literally giddy when we found and moved into our new house. I was overjoyed about our new two car garage (instead of oversized 3). I was overjoyed about having less space to keep clean, decorate, and clutter up.
Kitchen 1/4 of the size of my old one? Okay, not super overjoyed about that, but thought it would surely be easier to keep clean.
Ima get real with you. My heart is ungrateful and covetous from time to time. Slash all the time.
I find myself battling discontentment with multiple aspects of our “small house” which really isn’t small at all.
(Did you know people only use/travel an average of 1/3 of their square footage on any given day? –the minimalists documentary…go watch it.)
God has been convicting me so intensely about my heart’s proclivity to be discontent rather than grateful.
I have found myself fearing what others will think. I have found myself searching for new and better. I have found myself not hosting things because blah blah blah, INSECURITY. I have been missing our “party house.” And I’ve been trying/failing to shift to a capsule-ish wardrobe.
The downsize adjustment didn’t hit me until recent months, but it has hit hard.
So I’ve been wrestling against that discontentment. It’s a fight.
My prayer is that I don’t stop making room for the Holy Spirit to convict.
And my temptation is shopping for new houses! But then I remember how much work it is to move. And how we just moved 14 months ago. And it was for a PURPOSE. And even when I do look around, I always close the browser and remember that we’re exactly where we need to be. And that is enough. And even if we were in this home forever, it would be okay. Wonderful, even, dare I say.
We have been given more than enough. MORE THAN ENOUGH. I could cry when I think about the 400 square foot huts that house 8 people. There’s a small kitchen in the corner and dirt floors. And who lives there? A family filled with gratitude and pride over their home.
“More than enough” is a mantra I’m choosing to play on repeat in the ugly heart moments of “I can’t stand my tiny laundry room” or “This closet is smaller than our first apartment’s closets” Or “you hit my car with your car door again! I hate this tiny garage!” *sigh*
More than enough. Gratitude and grace. Jesus help me.
I have been given the things that matter so deeply. Warmth in the winter. Delicious, healthy, whole foods. A husband who loves me and works so dang hard. Children who are literally miracles. A faith that has carried me through all of life’s trials, and that can provide me rest in this one too.
I. HAVE. SO. MUCH. MORE. than. square. footage. could. ever. provide.
“I have been given everything I need for a godly life.” (2 Peter 1:3).
This morning my Bible reading said this (This beautiful passage almost brought me to tears you guys. TIMING.)
“Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.
Incline your ear, and come to me;
hear, that your soul may live;
and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,
my steadfast, sure love for David.”
Thank you Jesus.
Do you ever struggle with materialism?? Do you ever not? How do you keep your heart in the right place?